Tales from the Cube V.3

Big Ole’ Spoilers…ye be warned, avast!
DMC, as everyone seems to be calling it is really dark.

Really long.

And, almost gives Empire Strikes Back a run for it’s money with the addage: Our heroes don’t always have a good day.

First off, I loved the first movie. Saw it twice on the same day. And, this one was just as good as the first.

The basic premise is: East India Trading Company blackmails Will on his wedding day to get back a compass (you remember the one that never pointed north?) from Jack Sparrow or face the long drop with a short stop. Oh, and by the way, so does Elizabeth if Will doesn’t help and her Father, Jumping Jack Flash the Governor will be on the outs, too.

Why the compass? Because it will point to where ever your fondest desire is. A plot device used for both laughs and drama.

All of this (except the compass explaination) in the first few minutes of the film and it’s quite jarring and is mildly offsetting from what you may normally expect. Instead of seeing the lovely bride and groom on their perfect day, only to get rained out and then the militia arrive with a warrant out for their arrests it goes straight to the warrant.

Jack and his crew are no less better off, the crew is ready to mutiny due to being on the run and no spoils to show for it. All of the old crew return with the exception of Zoe Saldana, but, lovely, Voodoo Priestest Tia Dalma played by Naomie Harris more than makes up for absence.

Jack’s problems grow steadly worse when he has a midnight rendevous below decks with the Ghost of Christmas Past played Bootstrap Bill Turner, still dead btw, Bootstrap tells Jack his marker has just been called in by Davy Jones.

Davy Jones and his Kraken are a comin’ to get ya. And, that’s when Jack gets scared and if possible even more funny to watch.

Joss Whedon said once in a commentary and I’ll paraphrase: When the rough and tumble, never say die, good guys get scared of someone, you know it’s bad news.

Davy Jones is no Captain Barbosa. He is not meant to be. He is instead the big ole bad boss of the sea. He is well played by Bil Nighly of Underworld/Shawn of the Dead fame underneath a CGI Motion Capture Suit and looked for all intent purposes to be a real person.

I half expected Davy Jones to be the explaination behind how Jack got off the island and returned to reclaim the Pearl in COTBP only to find out Davie gave him the Pearl for 13 years, problem is Barbosa and Turner had other plans and now, today, 13 years is up.

The movie sets up for the third movie quite well almost to the point of people saying nothing happened in this movie at all.

I have to disagree with them. This movie is the nearly the same run time as COTBP and Superman Returns and unlike Superman is better and the characters do evolve, there are showdowns between protagonists and antagonists that lead to sets that lead to sight gags that lead to Elizabeth just sitting in the sand watching the boys fight over the Chest.

And, it keeps going and going until it all ends in a cliffhanger like we knew it would.

Jack learns to do the right thing at the cost of his life and the Pearl. Turner finds out the world is not always sunshine and lollypops and Elizabeth may just be marrying the wrong guy.

What does ex-Commadore Norrington learn? Besides not following Jack through a Hurricane is how to get ahead in life. Lie, cheat, steal and become what you were trained to hunt down: Pirates.

Oh, yeh and Captain Barbosa?

He isn’t dead. Neither is his monkey, Jack. Blink and you’ll miss his boots during Jack’s first encounter with Tia.

As for why he is alive and kicking I’ll assume that Davy Jones had something to do with it. Or, maybe it was that blasted monkey or the bullet Jack shot him with only “wounded” him.

It doesn’t matter how he did it, he like Jack can now retort “Heeeey, I’m Captain Barbosa.”

Out of the two Summer Blockbusters, this and Superman, I’ll will gladly say I’d watch this movie again instead of Superman. Sure, Pirates has scenes that just sit there and do nothing to advance the overall plot but they fun to watch.

And, yes, they are two different genres.

One is a comic book adaptation/sequel the other is a sequel based on a Disney Ride, but the tracks this Disney Ride runs on is far well better written and leaves you cheering at the end. Just like every movie should.

And, just like the previous movie make sure to stay until the end of the credits for a quick scene, it’s nothing like X3 (for those of us, ahem, who left), it’s cute and funny.

In closing, 2007 is going to be a very busy year indeed: Spiderman 3, Transformers and POTC 3…